This poem was written for my daughter Ruth. Having lived 12 years in the US and due to uncontrollable situations our relationship has been strained. I seldom hear from her and she from me. Due to an often lack of finances I am unable to fly to England as I would desire. Though I pretend everything is fine, it is not. Seldom do days pass that I don't think of her and regret many decisions I have made. She always was the best thing that ever happened to me and I am so very proud of her achievements.

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If I should wake before I die, I hope to see you again.
For without you in my life, I have lived in the slumber of solitude.
Your absence causes shadows to surround my being.
Walking, I am as a blind man, left without props.
My only aid of survival is your picture etched upon my mind.
Your image, ever before me, are dreams of unreality.

If I should wake before I die, I hope to hold you again.
The smell of your skin remains lodged within my nostrils.
As an intoxicating perfume, I am drunk with pity.
The soft locks of your hair create a warm blanket in my darkness.
Reaching, I touch only years of void and torment.
My hand fitting evenly within yours is now withering alone.

If I should wake before I die, I hope you know me again.
Time recreates everything and yet I am the same as I once was.
Don’t become a lover with guilt, for it wasn’t you who changed.
It was my destiny and my life which drove me far away.
Letters and conversation silenced as I drifted into the dark,
Only to find myself years later, a prisoner of my dreams.

If I should die before I wake, remember I loved you....
again and again.... remember I loved you.