Browsing Archive: October, 2009

It must have hurt!

Posted by Erich Shelton on Friday, October 30, 2009, In : Design 


Teaching design, and more specifically typography, I am often aware of how easily one change of a word could alter the meaning drastically. Poor Tyler must have suffered major hemorrhoids on this one. If you are one of the true believers that believes every written word is the gospel truth, then there is now no reason why any woman can complain about childbirth. Tyler has everyone beat. Bless him.

It has been two years since the amazing feat. I wonder if he has healed from his surprise bowel ...
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Penis Magazine?

Posted by Erich Shelton on Thursday, October 29, 2009, In : Design 


In their quest for newsstand “pop,” many magazines design their covers in such a way that the logotype is almost an afterthought. Titles of magazines are often partly blotted out by celebrity heads, torsos, hair, and other body parts. This April 2005 cover of Parents magazine demonstrates the perils of this design technique. Fortunately this is a spoof on the trend. However, it still appealed to the juvenile in me and I must admit I was wondering momentarily if it was indeed real. Oh the ...
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Who's Ass?

Posted by Erich Shelton on Wednesday, October 28, 2009, In : Design 


Somebody should really think before they design. I have heard some people describe their food as tasting like 'ass,' but this puts a new twist on it. Who really cares if their ass is open at 6 in the morning? It is far too early for ass.

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The Journey

Posted by Erich Shelton on Sunday, October 25, 2009, In : Poetry 
Rumi's words danced in my mind over and over…
"Come, come, whoever you are.
This caravan knows no despair.
"
Caravans are so primitive. I would much rather fly.
"Come, come, whoever you are.
This caravan knows no despair.
"
My true despair comes at the thought
of being captive in such a place.
Stopping, going, staying the night in God knows where.

Bumping into strangers I don't understand.
Being forced to sit beside them and make idle chat.
Exposing my true self would be inevitable.

A very small part of...
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Fuchsia Lips

Posted by Erich Shelton on Wednesday, October 21, 2009, In : Poetry 
Fuchsia lips press forcefully against my own.
Dear Aunty Pearl once again makes her mark.

What sin have I committed to deserve such affection?
Permanently stained on my collar,
                on my glasses,
                       on my face.
I stand with a stiff embrace,
waiting for the pagan ritual to end.

Escaping to the garden as she makes her tea,
twenty-three years have gone and,
I am still a victim of her wanting lips.

The purplish red tulips
my mother planted for me stand erect
beckoning he...
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Sheryl, the Chicken

Posted by Erich Shelton on Tuesday, October 20, 2009, In : Short Stories 
I am much better suited to the city life. Where I lived in Uzbekistan wasn’t exactly rural, but certainly in comparison to London – definitely. For a start I hear you aren’t supposed to name your chickens as they aren’t meant to be your pets, but how else could I tell them apart? Sheryl, named after my sister who growing up was nicknamed by family members as ‘mother hen’ seemed a natural choice. Evidently when I was very small she felt like I was her baby and therefore coddled to ...
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White Cliffs of Dover

Posted by Erich Shelton on Monday, October 19, 2009, In : Poetry 
I remember in 1991 walking on the white cliffs of Dover
and thinking how fortunate I was to be there.
It was a place of great hope for the men of the 1940s
and became a popular war tune sung by Vera Lynn, and many others.

The wind began to lick at my face and run playfully down my back.
I thought I heard in the clouds above me, the most lovely of melodies.
The lilted song splashed back and forth against the ivory crag.
I now realise it was the spanking breeze whirring about my head.

Looking out o...
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Baba

Posted by Erich Shelton on Sunday, October 18, 2009, In : Short Stories 
As the bus jolted and jiggled on windy roads the only thought that came to mind was one of the classic Lucille Ball sketches where she is eating chocolate on a conveyer belt as it speeds up; getting more and more frantic in trying to get things under control, without success.

My wife, two Greek friends, and I were heading to Halkidiki in northern Greece for a long weekend of relaxation. The sun was warm, but not too warm. It had been a busy week and when a friend’s invitation came to go to a...
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Homelessness

Posted by Erich Shelton on Saturday, October 17, 2009, In : Commentary 


Having just written this little story below about Ed, I began thinking afresh about the plight of those less fortunate than myself. The image above resulted in that meditation. It is entitled "STOP," and can be interpreted in many ways. Stop hunger, stop injustice, stop prejudice, stop discrimination, stop thinking of yourself… and the list could go on.

In June this year the Coalition for Homelessness Intervention and Prevention, based in Indianapolis reported that Indiana family homelessnes...
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Dear Ed

Posted by Erich Shelton on Friday, October 16, 2009, In : Short Stories 
Ed’s clothes were in the washing machine for the second time. Even after the first wash cycle was complete, the rinse water was still a slushy brownish-grey. I passed the hallway and tapped on the door. I was going to tell him that his clothes would take a little longer than expected and I would need to see if I could find some alternate clothes for him to wear while we waited. After knocking a few times with no reply, I assumed he couldn’t hear because of the shower running. I hesitantly...
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Tossed Salad

Posted by Erich Shelton on Thursday, October 15, 2009, In : Short Stories 
We had just finished entertaining some young people at the main house and only the team was inside when it occurred. Had we any glass in the windows it would have all been blown out. As it was, my back was against the window, leaning on thin plastic, when a sudden noise and flash of light filled the room. The plastic slapped violently at my back. It is all a blur now, but I do recall my team members running outside (out the very door from which the flash occurred) to investigate. I wasn’t a...
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Save Often

Posted by Erich Shelton on Wednesday, October 14, 2009, In : Comics 


I can't recall how many times a day I tell my students to save their work. I almost want to have a push button that belts out the message on a regular basis. On my home computer I have it set up to save automatically but it is not possible on the University computers. Ultimately I get busy and forget to remind them until suddenly a hand goes up and a look of desperation is staring me in the face. Yes, it happens.

This is the frustrating part of working with computers. Thankfully it isn't an e...
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Two Passports

Posted by Erich Shelton on Tuesday, October 13, 2009, In : Short Stories 
This is a little bit of an experiment! I have been told recently that I should write some of my memoirs of my life. My first immediate comment was, "Who would be interested in my ilfe?" Well, I have written two short stories and am placing one of them out here. If you think I should write more, please let me know. I have lived an exciting life and enjoy the thought of others reliving some of my experiences with me. So, if you read this and think I should write more, please send me a note. I a...
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Technology

Posted by Erich Shelton on Monday, October 12, 2009, In : Comics 
If you are alive, you have undoubtedly experienced at least to some measure the frustration of new technology. Though it is often thought of as an "age" thing when frustrations occur, I know from working with university students that they too have problems figuring it all out.

It is like the quote, often referred to the opposite gender (you fill in the blank)…"_______, you can't live with them. You can't live without them."

So it is with technology. As soon as I figure out my old 35 mm. I am ...
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Depression

Posted by Erich Shelton on Sunday, October 11, 2009, In : Poetry 
cold as ice that gathers on winter’s stone,
thick like the rain on a cloud covered day,
black as the night,
without any moon or stars,
slowly,
draining my life away.
iron on iron, she threatens my sanity,
hauntingly,
mocking me,
calling my name.
she has no friends, but only knows enemies.
depression will enter,
but never escape.

like the loud noise that shatters the solitude,
strong like the current, that leads ships astray,
she blows though my being,
forcefully,
violently,
silently,
taking my breath a...

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Karakul Hat

Posted by Erich Shelton on Saturday, October 10, 2009, In : Poetry 
As I was drinking oolong tea and wearing my karakul hat,
I recalled a time of years gone by when I bought my first water rat.
I was ignorant then of its importance and thought it a mere covering for hair.
I soon realised that when choosing a hat, one must take the greatest of care.

To sport a water rat, when you should clearly be wearing a mink,
is to announce to the world and for all to see that you simply cannot think.
The measure of man isn’t his penis, his muscles or hair on his chest.
But the...
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Embracing Diversity

Posted by Erich Shelton on Friday, October 9, 2009, In : Comics 
Diversity is a wonderful thing, isn't it? One of my favourite subjects to teach is typography. I love the multitude of type faces and families which we have at our disposal in this digital age. As I not only teach typography, but take students from prehistoric man and the cave paintings to the ever-changing digital world, I am reminded how far man has come in their ability to communicate with one another. I love the connotative elements of the different fonts. This comic is used to encourage ...
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Little Flower

Posted by Erich Shelton on Thursday, October 8, 2009, In : Poetry 
Though I consider myself an extrovert, there are certainly times where I need to retreat to myself. One of the most enjoyable times is when I am out in nature. There is definitely something calming and healing about the solitude found in such moments. In those times, it is not uncommon to find little treasures. I see a lone wildflower blooming in an unexpected place, far away from human eyes. I then think about what its purpose is. If I hadn't stumbled upon it, who would have admired its beau...
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Queen's Park Ranger

Posted by Erich Shelton on Tuesday, October 6, 2009, In : Poetry 
For one to fully understand the below poem, you have to be acquainted with Cockney rhyming slang. It is said the true Londoners live within a mile of the Bow Bells and it is in this area that rhyming slang developed. Cockney rhyming slang has uncertain roots. One popular belief was that it was once spoken by the thieves of London. It would certainly have been a very effective code, being incomprehensible to the authorities or any eavesdroppers who were not familiar with the slang. There are o...
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Weathervane

Posted by Erich Shelton on Monday, October 5, 2009, In : Poetry 
The weathervane was rusting and blowing in the wind,
Like the whirling dervish, dancing by the stream.
I wondered of her mystic past;
Was it bitter or sweet?
I asked her if she played a tune, or only swung for me.

In a trance she called me, round and round we’d spin;
Strolling through my fantasy, playing in my tent.
Could it be she was never still?
Did she ever rest?
Would she continue reeling around with vigorous energy?

The winds slipped quickly past her; above her head were clouds;
Beneath the sha...
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The Male Advantage

Posted by Erich Shelton on Sunday, October 4, 2009, In : Comics 


It is no wonder ladies often have more patience than their male counterparts. They get enough practice in public places. Though there are many reasons to be thankful for being a man, I often say a little "thanks" as I pass the ladies as they are waiting for the loo. Sorry ladies!

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Ba‘al Zebûb

Posted by Erich Shelton on Saturday, October 3, 2009, In : Poetry 
Though we were removed from the greatest danger during the war, one would often hear rockets and explosions beyond the hills. The tanks would drive past our front gate, reminding us that though we were in the "Green Zone," war was still reality.

I cannot remember how we met Bill. As a mercenary, he went from war-zone to war-zone, fighting for whichever side would pay him the most. He showed up at our home and being a fellow Westerner in the Middle East there was always a common bond that natu...
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Martyred

Posted by Erich Shelton on Friday, October 2, 2009, In : Poetry 
This poem is based upon one experience I encountered while living in Southern Lebanon. We lived across the Maronite church and slowly the villagers were returning from the north. The Palestinians massacred most of the village, apart from those who escaped into the Snowbar Mountains and fled north, either by foot or by sea. The Palestinians then propelled rockets into northern Israel and occupied the villagers homes. Later, the Israeli tanks had no choice but to blast into the villages to defe...
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The Wonders of Photoshop

Posted by Erich Shelton on Thursday, October 1, 2009, In : Comics 


There are many benefits to Photoshop. If you would like private lessons, please contact me. I can do wonders with a lot! I'm really 95, but you can't tell it from my photo, can you? This is the easiest diet plan out there. It will remove excess fat, remove wrinkles, crows feet, and double chins. Who needs a tummy tuck? Photoshop can do it all with a simple click or two of the mouse. Fight obesity. Learn PHOTOSHOP!

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About Me


Erich Shelton I currently teach graphic design and illustration at the University of Southern Indiana. I really love teaching and the challenges which this provides me. It not only keeps me young, but forces me to be that ongoing learner; sometimes referred to as a life-long learner. This goal of continuing to learn as finally brought me back to the role as a student as well. Some years ago I started and MFA, but due to an automobile accident was unable to complete it. I have just been accepted as a student at the Academy of Art University in San Francisco and will finally be able to work on the MFA. The great thing is I can continue working at USI and will visit the AAU in the summer. The rest of the time I am able to take my courses online. Like technology and life, it is constantly changing and evolving. What a joy to be part of it all!

  

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